Last session was about your body. This one is about your hands — what you actually reach for once you're flooded. I'm not asking you to catalog your worst moments. I'm asking you to do something closer to an inventory than a confession.
Most people flinch at this question, because it feels like being asked to catalog their worst moments. It isn't. Here's why it matters: almost nobody has a hundred different ways of fighting badly. Most of us have three or four go-to moves, and we reach for the same ones every time. Once they're named, they stop being a fuzzy sense of "I was awful" and start being a short, specific, interruptible list.
One: the raised voice. Volume standing in for the point you're not sure is landing.
Two: the silent treatment. Not the real timeout you'll learn next week — this is the wall version, no return time, no stated reason, just gone.
Three: bringing up the past. The current issue gets a guest list of every old grievance that fits in the room.
Four: name-calling. The person gets relabeled instead of the behavior getting addressed.
Five: walking away without a plan. Not the same as a timeout — no return time means the other person is left guessing whether you're cooling down or just gone.
From this point on, your conflict log asks which of these five you reached for — no judgment field, just a checkbox. Most people find the same two or three lighting up, fight after fight. That's not a character flaw. That's a short list you can actually work with, starting this week.